I hate all girls vehemently.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
