she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
