Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
