Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
