you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I intend to get homeless drunk
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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