I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
