Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
