i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it was like having sex with a tree stump
porn star boner night. come get it.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize