Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
