Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
