He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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