let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize