you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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