you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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