But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize