it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
