you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
