my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
