So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
