Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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