I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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