You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
