THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
