margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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