Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
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He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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