At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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