My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you would pick up someone in the library
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
