in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
