They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
