Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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