dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
