everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I have fence marks all over my body
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
