I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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