Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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