take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
