Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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