question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
