This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
