I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize