My room smells like vodka and shame
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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