At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
