im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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