I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
