So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Randomize
