Duck Duck Cougar?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
