just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
