"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
