So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
