if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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