i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
