like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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