$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
