i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
