I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize