Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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