Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
