If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
