I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
