I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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