I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
