Dude my mom stole all your condoms
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I am one with the molecules
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize