just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
