margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
