Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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