he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
