I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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