don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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