he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
