He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize