Me. At least after what I've been through.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
