I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
