so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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