this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
