i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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