I can't watch pbs sober anymore
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
