We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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